A meal is such a simple thing, in a way. But for me, during what's been a very challenging time physically, even a simple thing like dinner felt like way too much.
So you all kept showing up. With your smiling faces, well wishes, prayers and warm, delicious meals. Food that fed us dinner, was the perfect mid-night (or mid-day) snack for me. Something ready to fill my belly which has been on the verge of being sick for 3 months.
One or two bites of something delicious at the right time can be so soothing. I felt your love, care and prayers in every bite, as did we all.
So thank you. You took the time out of your schedules, away from your own families and to-do list to do something that was so very needed and I am so grateful to you. And you, and you.
Love and Muah.
Honestly, this blog is such a joke.
ReplyDeleteTry talking to women who have had to actually watch their children while having cancer, who can't lie, manipulate, and over dramatize everything to get free meals, multiple kid free vacations, days off, etc etc etc. Your ability to make your cancer sound like you are the first ever person to ever get that diagnosis is amazing, not to mention your excellent high and mighty self righteous insight you suddenly are blessed with every blog post. Give me a break. Anyone who knows you knows you pawn your child off whenever you can, your willing boyfriend (what is that now husband to be #3?) does everything you ask for fear of your retaliation, and you shame, guilt, and just plain name call anyone else who gets in the way of Lauren. Try growing up try being a parent, and stop the constant whine of the INCREDIBLY self involved who thinks her life is so horrible if she has to have her child for more than 2 days in a row, or cook dinner while having cancer. But I know you are too busy planning all your romantic getaways and date nights and rearranging for child care so you don't have time for silly things like parenting. Unreal.
Wow! Such hate! So bitter! If I wasn't feeling like landing into like you so deserve, I'd have a lot more to say. I will say, I wish you weren't so sad and lonely, because that is the only explanation I can think of for someone being so mean.
DeleteI don’t know who you are because you didn’t identify yourself. But I know who you are not: you’re not a friend to me or to my son.
DeleteYou are not someone in my son’s family. You’re not my son’s Dad or his Partner. You criticize my mothering but if you truly cared about my son you would have brought these concerns forward to me directly. You would care enough to help my son and my family. But you don’t care. You are a troll. You have created drama and chaos where there is none but what you have in your own head.
If I know you in real life, please stay away from me, my son, my family and my son’s Dad and his family. And please make the world a much better place by minding your own business. Put your energy toward your own family and leave mine alone.
You know, person so ball-less they can't comment with a proper user name, you're the self-involved asshole here. You are proving that you are an asshole by not even having the decency to allow Lauren to know who feels so harshly toward her. You are an asshole because you act as though you've never had an asshole moment in your life. I'm going to bet that you have had plenty. Humans are inherently selfish creatures. You are an asshole because you are calling a woman with cancer a bad mother. Seriously. Are you jealous? Do you feel that you don't have enough resources or sacrifice more than others? What's your bag? Why are you such an angry shrew? My name is Amanda Beach and I'm not hiding behind the internet when I say---You are the selfish asshole here.
ReplyDeleteHere is my Response to this comment in detail (below). I am taking it down as a blog post because I feel that I've given way too much energy and air time to this hurtful and crappy person who choose to go out of their way to injure me and my family.
ReplyDeleteEveryone responds differently to cancer and the corresponding treatments because every one's body, mind and outlook are different from the next person. I have to move through this experience and heal the way I do everything else: my way.
DeleteI hope you never have to find out commenter, but if/when you have cancer, I'd be interested to see how you respond to this illness.
Perhaps you'll do everything in your power to make sure your child's needs are taken care of: physically, mentally, and emotionally. Perhaps this will include arranging it so he can go to a support group for kids, or that he can be with beloved friends or family when you are unable to care for him yourself.
Perhaps your family and friends will bless you with meals and you will joyfully accept them when you are too sick or just too plain exhausted to cook. This way you won't have to choose between using energy reserves to cook dinner or spend time with your child.
Maybe, like me, you're lucky enough to have a job that you love. Maybe you have coworkers who support you; their simple presence like medicine throughout the work day. And if you, like me, have the trifecta of awesomeness at work, you'll have a supervisor and an executive leadership team that care about your well being, that support your healing with flexibility so you can have time off for treatments and recovery.
Or maybe you'll plan a vacation with the love of your life. Because, after all that you've been though, when its all said and done, you will have earned one. A long one. On a beautiful beach. Far, far away from cancer. A vacation that will allow you the time and space to cry all the tears you've been holding in, so you could be strong for your child and your partner through it all. So you could work at your job and get everything done that a mother needs to get done to care for her family.
Maybe through all of this, you will, like me, learn that its ok to unapologetically love every moment of your life: time with your child which is (mostly) pure bliss, time with your partner, time with your friends and your alone time.
Perhaps you will come to understand that those times when you're without your child will restore you. They will fill your heart with a different kind of love so that when you come back and your strength is waning, your patience is lacking and you find that, like me, you're no where near the perfect mother, but you can dig a little deeper. Be the mother you want to be in the moments when its hard and give your child what they need, even under the worst circumstances.
I don't pretend to have all answers, but I do strive to gain wisdom from these less than ideal circumstances I find myself in. I strive to learn the lessons I'm meant to learn. I will not fight this cancer, because it would be a civil war, a war on my very own body who is healing me as I type this.
And I will not fight you. I will open more and more deeply. I will care for myself in the best way I know how so I can survive this and continue to provide for and protect my family.
I will do my best to be a loving partner. It has been a true blessing to find Bryan, and I know with my whole heart, he feels the same way. I wish this for you also: true love with another. It has changed me, loving him has changed me and receiving his love has changed me. I am deeply humbled that he offers it so freely especially when at the start of all this I let him know that he could walk away.
Lastly, this is my blog. If you don't like me or don't get pleasure from reading it, then don't read it.
Spend your time reading things that bring you joy; that ground you and help you connect to who you truly are. Because whoever you are, I know you're most likely a better person than you portray yourself to be in this comment.
Lauren, you've taken this situation you've been put in, accepted it, and have found many blessings in it along the way, as difficult as some days might be for you, physically, mentally and emotionally. and you've acknowledged those blessings. Prayers to those in the world who can't do that and have to hate read others who can inspire.
ReplyDelete