Bad things do come in 3's

The MRI and mammogram results are in: the scans are clean. Yea, you read that correctly, no tumor in sight.

I don't know about you but when I heard that, I secretly thought, "that was the easiest case of cancer I've ever heard of. It lasted about 2 weeks and I really didn't feel a thing. Wow, that wasn't so bad." Big sigh of relief.

Not so fast. 

As it turns out, some tumors won't show up on a mammogram or an MRI. Its rare, but it does happen. It happens more commonly in women with small dense breast tissue. Let me clarify something here, dense breast tissue is common in young women. Old women, not so much. 

At the ripe old age of 40 you would think I wouldn't have such problems, namely the breasts of a much younger woman, but there you have it. The tissue in my breasts is so dense that its more or less opaque. 

Getting an image of what's going on inside such dense breast tissue is kind of like driving in fog. Your lights are on and you know there's a car ahead, but you can't really see it. Get closer though, and there it is. Kind of like it appeared out of nowhere. 

Well, in this case, when the doctor pulled her car up to my tumor to get a better look via MRI and mammogram, she couldn't see anything. She was still too far away.

When she hopped into her ultrasound though, out of nowhere she saw the original tumor and two additional ones. A little off to the side, she saw something else which she very scientifically labeled as suspicious. The suspicious thing is one of the lymph nodes under my arm. 

I'm not sure if it was the shifty eyes of that particular node that made her feel so uneasy, or if it looks like it's filled up with cancer. Either way though, having a body part labeled as suspicious is never a good sign.

And, just to cheer this post right up, it became clear to me this morning that having more children will not be an option for me. My insurance doesn't cover the cost of freezing eggs and eggs don't like being hard boiled by cancer treatments. 

AND, on top of all this, I really need to go to the grocery store. 

I'm at a low point right now. I freaking hate shopping.